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 5 days and counting of not meeting hym. i seriously miss you bhy. But NO, that wasnt my intention, i cried.... ALONE. just alone, whereby when anyone enters the room i pretend to be sleeping.No contact no nothing, he said not to worry about hym, but i cant help it but to do so. i still care, i still love you. Much apologies for my mistakes made to you this days. I miss us, those happy days together. What can i say, nothing last forever. Left eye has been twitching every morning, giving a signal i will cry on that day. And its true. The moment i stepped into the house, all i did was just cry like one baby seeking attention." Yesterday was worst, and today was even horrible. I broke down almost everytime i wanted to do something. At school, my bitches were the reason why im still able to smile, laugh. But really, no one can actually know and feels what is it like to be in my state now. Im not blaming hym, neither am i blaming fate. Im blaming myself. Its true, if its not bcos of me, my irritatingness, my attitude towards hym.. things wont be this way im very sure. Maybe this is what i can say, KARMA. I used to treat hym this way last time, and now i know how it feels like. See, i believe in this what goes around comes around. Bhy, you may think all this are just something i type out of no reason. But sorry dear, i have my own reasons, i cant freely go around telling ppl my problem, i wont embarass you. And yes, i did share with this two awesome humans in life ; FAREHA and SHAI. They feel me, they advice mee, they are willingly enough to hear me out. Im not comparing but just stating it here. I need to express things out, it makes me feel better. I cried, real bad. I cried while showering even, and yes as you know i cried myself to sleep. But wait, i didnt sleep. HAH. im always hoping for a better tommorow, a day whereby i waked up and the moment i checked my hp there this Bby with a heartshape text message. Im really hoping it will that day will come soon. I realise my mistakes. i made my reflection already but yes patience. Im patiently waiting for you to come to meee.. And again, tears rolling down this cheeks. No appetite, you may think this is stupid like why not eat? just eat la. But no, about this, you and me have very different prespective. This is what happen to most girls. Have not been having a proper meal since than. But im not hungry at all. Weird huh. If this continues, i can actually lose weight. AWESOME. Things at home is just so dull, everyone is just minding their own business even when sometimes brother and mum came asking do i have any problems to share.. how sweet (": But i cant be telling them what had happen right. And thats when i really need you, i got alot of things to share with you dear, too much to even know where to start. But this happens and than i realise, i should talk less.. what i mean is complain lesser. And yes, you will see the difference in mee. Studies ; what can i say. This has affect me in this too. BUT when it comes to sitting for a test im trying very hard, im fighting with my own instint to do well. Mybe you wont want to know or care about this but im sharing this success with my family. YES, if its not bcos of them i wouldnt be going to school each time this happens. See, family comes first <3> I shall stop nowww.
Friends who know JOKO, Please tell hym i love hym bcos i dont know how to tell hym. Thanks, i really hope hys reading this. I love you sayang )'": |
